Elsie's birth story (part 2)

In my last blog post, I got up to the point of admission into the labour ward. But everything that followed has become hazy and jumbled over time and I wanted to make sense of the timeline of events that led up to my daughter being born before I wrote about them. I therefore requested my labour and delivery notes which I have now received. They are 125 pages long and there is a LOT of medical jargon but it helped me piece things together.

I was transferred to a labour room at 3.45am and was coping well with gas and air. I remember being so impressed and a little smug that I was already 5cm dilated. I thought I'd be holding my baby by 9am whist enjoying my institutional NHS tea and toast. Little did I know, there was a long road ahead.

At 5.15am, my notes indicate I was finding it harder to cope and considering having Pethidine. I was advised that the pain relief offered by this drug should last around 4 hours. I had read somewhere that Pethidine crossed the placenta and if baby was born shortly after having it, they could be drowsy. I took some paracetamol and decided to talk things through with my husband for a little longer.

Meanwhile, I had decided that TENS machines were for maniacs. (I had agreed to try one out about an hour before). The electrical current on my back did nothing but irritate me at a time that I was trying to concentrate. I ripped it off and continued with gas and air. 

After approximately 7 hours of managing the contractions with just gas and air and paracetamol, (and severely sleep deprived) at 5.45am I decided it was getting too much and requested the Pethidine injection. It must have had some magical powers because my notes at 6.15am simply state "more relaxed - coping well".

At 6.45am, it was recommended that I let the midwife break my waters to progress things along. By this time I was 6-7cm dilated so things had slowed down from my initial surge to 5cm! Looking back, this is the moment I feel I lost control of the situation somewhat. Once your waters have broken, there is a bit of pressure on time to birth to reduce the chance of infection. Had I refused this 'procedure' at this point, I do wonder if I'd have been in a better position to avoid further intervention later.

Having my waters broken for me is one of the few moments during my labour that I remember vividly. I was laid back on the hospital bed with my eyes closed tight and sucking on the gas and air as David Bowie played on Radio 2. Life on Mars. One of my favourite songs. The song helped me relax through a very uncomfortable and invasive moment.

I can't tell you what I thought waters breaking would look like. But I can tell you what I experienced was not it. What felt like gallons of liquid gushed out and for the next hour or so, every time I went to the loo, a load more whooshed out. My husband commented that my bump size looked much smaller - which made sense to me as I felt like I could have single-handedly solved the world's water droughts! 

At 8am, there was a staff handover and my own community midwife had come on shift and was assigned to me. She was a very welcome sight after having discussed all of my wishes and concerns directly with her throughout my pregnancy. In her first hour on shift, she explained that things were not progressing quite as quickly as they'd like and it was advised that I should consider a hormone drip to speed things along. I trusted the advice of my midwife and agreed.

Between 9am and 1pm, I was monitored closely and the hormone IV drip was turned up regularly as contractions appeared to be making slow progress. My pain level had increased in direct correlation with this and just after 1pm I did something I hadn't thought I would. I asked - no BEGGED - for an epidural. I still remember the intensity of the painful contractions at this point with very little rest in between. I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, I was panicking, I was sweating. I thought I would die from the pain and my husband maintains to this day that I virtually asked him to end it all for me there and then. 

The anaesthetist soon appeared with paperwork that I had to read and sign before they could administer the epidural. She explained it would take 20 minutes to go through the paperwork and a further 20 minutes for the epidural to take effect. Inside, I was mortified and wondered why they couldn't have gone through the paperwork earlier in a 'just incase I need it' context. I writhed around the edge of the bed in the most pain I've ever felt in my life whilst doing my best to co-operate with the required paperwork. 

14.03 - First does of epidural given 

14.13 - Second dose of epidural given

14.25 - Kayleigh reports epidural is already having some effect

16.30 - Kayleigh sleeping

My first little bit of sleep in 32 hours. Although 45 minutes later I was awake again and discussing the possibility of a c-section if I didn't do some more dilating very soon - I was still stuck at 7cm! 

At 19.25pm with still no further progress, I was officially labelled 'failure to progress' and prepped for an emergency c-section. Whilst I cannot translate this from the medical notes, I seem to recall some concern for my baby's welfare, showing some signs of distress.

The notes from the surgery are very simplistic and as follows:

20:30 Into theatre

20:53 Knife to skin

21:01 Baby born

21:02 Placenta 

21:18 Baby check completed and baby cuddling with Dad

...and just like that, our lives were changed forever.